Thailand and the Worst Christmas Ever (but the best food)

So, I feel like at this point I need to preface this blog post with the observation that a few of our adventures have had less than desirable outcomes. However, I don’t want to come across as being too negative. Writing this in hindsight two years later I can say emphatically that our trip has been one of the highlights of our lives and that, over time, you tend to remember more of the good than the bad. However, THAT also being said, Thailand was our least favorite place that we visited. There were some good points, which I will try to reflect on more, but overall not a place that we would be inclined to visit again. We did have quite the adventure though, and learned a lot from it, so onwards we go!

Landing in Bangkok airport was a breeze. After going through customs and immigration and gathering our bags we were able to get a pre-paid, airport-run, bright pink, late-night taxi to the other domestic airport across the city, where we had a very early morning flight on one of the budget airlines to Surat Thani--where we would catch a ferry over to Koh Samui. I should also preface this whole story with the fact that John said he was getting tired of having our whole trip planned out moment by moment, and wanted to travel more spontaneously. So we chose Thailand, during Christmas, in the touristy areas, to try this out. This was a mistake. When we landed in Surat Thani we were able to get a bus to the port in order to get a ferry across. This part was no problem. Once we got on the island, however, it was like a fight to the death to get in the taxi vans that were taking people to various places on the island. We booked a few days at the Ibis Hotel in Koh Samui  in order to treat ourselves, but for some reason the hotel didn’t offer a shuttle from the port, even though they had a shuttle on the property? Anyways, by the time we got our bags and made it out into the throng it was slim pickings—which meant the prices went up because there were only a few seats left in each van unless we wanted to wait another hour for them to come back. The best we could get for a mini van was 600 BHT, which was actually quite expensive considering a tuk-tuk going the same distance would have  been 200 BHT. I was not a happy camper but got in the van so we could at least get to the hotel and relax. 

So, Koh Samui. I think it’s a reflection of our impression of Thailand in general in that it was overrun by tourists, Western-money and influence, and pretty much run-down from what was once a nice, relaxing, exotic place to visit. The hotel was okay—it was clean and modern. They had a nice pool. The beach however, had murky water and a beach littered with garbage that also came in with the tide—not exactly the picture of Thailand you imagine. Everything there was about tours catered to Westerners, charging Western prices, and you basically felt like you were a walking ATM and in turn received a less-than-authentic experience. Yes, I sound bitter, but the island itself was overdeveloped, and not in a way that was sustainable. That is not to say people in Thailand should remain primitive and poor in order to provide an “authentic” experience for tourists, but the overwhelming feeling I got is that it was more of a shame than anything, because even with the influx of money you got the impression that not everyone benefits and some most definitely more than others. So yeah, Koh Samui was a bit of a disappointment. Christmas Day was a bit of a dud. We sat out on the beach in the morning. 

However, the rest of the day was spent in our room on our computers as we spent most of the money on the hotel room in the first place and, lo and behold, on Christmas Day my computer starts to go wonky and would prove itself unusable for the rest of our trip. Also, my external hard drive broke. Bad juju overall--but also explains why it's taking SO long for me to finish this blog as I couldn't really work on them in real time and had to wait to get my computer fixed back in the states almost 5 months later. But anyways,  turns out spending a holiday alone in a hotel room in Thailand isn't all it's cracked up to be. Pretty much the worst Christmas I've ever had. 

However, for all of our disappointments with Thailand, one thing did NOT disappoint—the food.  No matter where we went, we were always able to find a small mom-and-pop or hole-in-the wall Thai restaurant, run by locals, serving the BEST (and cheapest) food we could ask for. We found this one place just a short walk down the street from our hotel and would end up going there three times during our short stay—including for Christmas dinner. We were going to have a nice dinner at this fancier area of town that was sort of like a boardwalk, but the prices were far too high so we headed back to our little tried and true restaurant instead  (and were all the happier for it). 

So yes, the morning we left Koh Samui was a good one, and we were headed to the other side of the peninsula to Phuket Town and a tour out to Koh Phi Phi. That morning we met a really nice Italian/Brazilian couple who were also heading back to the mainland. We caught the ferry back to the port, which was actually quite a nice ride, and from there all hell broke loose once again. 

If you want the “Too Long; Didn’t Read” version of this story, I will sum it up here; only use public buses and trains, or just rent your own freaking car if you want to get anywhere in Thailand. If you want the full and exciting story of how it took us 9 hours to get 200Km, then read on!

Once we got to the port it was chaos. We bought our tickets from the concierge at the hotel, but there were about 10 minivans in this parking lot, plus a couple of buses. People kept asking us where we were going, and we kept getting shuffled around. Finally, we got shoved into a small mini van with a few other people who were all going to Phuket Town (as opposed to Phuket the small island because all the research we did about the place turned us off). So we hop into this minivan and show our tickets and finally, after what has to be an hour, the buses start heading in their respective directions. We get a little bit more in town and, maybe a hour later, pull into this make-shift bus stop. Everyone gets out here as more people join, and we are told our next bus would come in 30 min. So, I use the toilet and grab a snack and half an hour later—no bus. Another half hour--still no bus. People are starting to get antsy. Finally, another 30 min later—there is a bus! Sort of—it was actually a small truck with some benches in the back and a luggage rack overhead. Some of us were weary that this was supposed to be our bus all the way to Phuket, but luckily (or unluckily) it was just another taxi that took us to ANOTHER make-shift bus stop at the corner of some busy road next to a restaurant. We arrived and there were already other tourists there. Over the THREE hours that we waited for our bus to take us to Phuket, more and more buses pulled up, dumping off Western tourists, before moving on. It was quite the spectacle and this gaggle of foreigners on a random street corner was definitely noticed by the locals. As people waited longer and longer and kept asking for answers and getting none, or just bold-faced lies, the tension started to mount. Meanwhile, there was this one guy inside the restaurant who just kept yelling, “Food! Drink! Fried Rice! Pad Thai!” over and over and over again. Our theory is that they were just going to keep everyone there until they got hungry and the restaurant made enough money—because whenever a person asked the dude who was kinda in charge when their bus would come he kept saying, “Soon. Soon.” Some of the tourists resorted to shouting and anger, but we knew this would get them nowhere. Finally, after three hours, an older couple who were also going to Phuket Town, and who were waiting just a long as us, talked to the head guy. Whether they were able to finagle him or just slipped him some extra money I don’t know, but 10 min later they had a mini bus for Phuket Town! Thank god. It would take another 3.5 hours or so of driving, and it was already late in the day when we set off, but at least we were on our way. We finally arrived to Phuket Town around 8 pm—well, I should say we arrived NEAR to Phuket Town around 8 p.m. When our bus finally stopped it was not at the public bus stop in the city center, a short walk away from our hostel. No, we were taken to this company’s own bus stop 5 km outside of town—from which they wanted us to take one of their taxis to our final destination. We were so disgusted at this point that we flat out refused and walked across the street to a big shopping center where we found a pay phone and called our hostel to see if they could pick us up. Unfortunately they couldn’t, but they did tell us how much a taxi should cost (200BHT). We went outside to a taxi stand and tried to haggle with some drivers who wanted way too much for the short trip. We ran into a French couple who had also walked away from the extortion of the other place, and we agreed to split a taxi and managed to get the driver to agree to 500BHT per couple. We finally arrived at our backpackers in town around 8:30. We had our own room that was simple, but clean and were able to put our bags down after the hellish day. Good riddance!

We took solace, once again, in the delicious food of a restaurant not too far down the street that was still serving dinner that late at night. The waitress was super friendly, the food well-priced and delicious! Oh Thailand—if only everything else could be as good as your food. 

The next day we took a tour out to Koh Phi Phi island, which, while also overrun with tourists, was much more enjoyable than the experience we had had thus far—and we didn’t get ripped off by this company (which is quite a plus for Thailand, I suspect). The tour company picked us up from our hostel and brought us to the port, where there was instant coffee and snacks for all the people on the tour. We were divided into groups, given our snorkel gear, and made our way out to separate boats. The leader of this company was a crazy guy with an extremely outgoing personality, but his jokes were funny and he made the experience enjoyable. The guide on our boat was also a nice woman. First, we rode out to the vicinity of the island. We dropped anchor at this spot not too far off the coast where we were able to snorkel. There was indeed some coral here, though most of it was bleached by all the development and human contact, but John did spot a poisonous sea snake! After snorkeling, we visited “Monkey Island” as there are, you guessed it, monkeys that hang out in the trees by the beach. Naturally, the tourists feed them, but I just took pictures of them playing around on the beach and in the trees. Some other people got off the boats wanting to get close to them, but even with all the human contact I doubted that was a good idea. 

After the monkeys it was time to head to Koh Phi Phi island where we were provided a buffet lunch and given free time to lounge on the beach. The lunch was pretty decent, and it was at this resort place right on the beach. Some of the other people grabbed some lounge chairs and we did the same and just relaxed for a while. The ocean here was the clear crystal blue that you imagine and the beach was much, much cleaner with white sand—finally, the Thailand we had been waiting for! 

Yet, naturally, after about 30 minutes, some random people come by saying that the lounge chairs were not free and wanted to charge us 500BHT per person. We just apologized and moved our stuff off and sat on the beach instead. We didn’t pay them, because I can almost guarantee that those guys didn’t work there and were actually just scamming people into giving them money for the loungers—because, Thailand. Yet, we still enjoyed the rest of the time on that beach before heading back onto the boat toward another island near Koh Phi Phi with a famous cove called Maya Beach--famous because they filmed the movie “The Beach” there. Filled with people, it was still pretty nice and clean, and the scene was also very pretty with all of the colorful boats and the clear water.

We relaxed for a bit, but then decided to go for a walk around to the other side, where our guide had fresh pineapple and watermelon for all the tour guests! This side of the island was nice as well. 

All in all it was a relaxing day and the best one we had in Thailand so far. As promised, we were taken back to shore and dropped back off at our hostel, where we went back to that delicious restaurant again for dinner. 

The next day it was time to leave Phuket Town and, having learned our lesson from our excursion there, learned from the front desk where the ACTUAL public bus terminal was in Phuket Town and walked there with our bags the next morning. We were heading to Khao Sok National Park to enjoy a bit more nature (and less people) for New Years! One of those taxi/truck things picked us up and drove about 20 minutes to a huge bus terminal full of those buses with the Thai seal on the side, which meant they were part of the public bus system—what a relief! We bought a ticket at one of the windows for a bus heading in our direction. After we got our ticket, we rushed over to the correct terminal as the bus was already there but about to leave. We showed our tickets to the driver but he said the bus was full so we would have to wait for the next one in an hour. So, we got back off and were waiting at the terminal in some seats when a police officer approached us and asked where we were going. We told him and showed him our tickets and he motioned us to follow him. We went back to the ticket window where the officer began to talk to (scold?) the lady for giving us tickets for a bus that had already left and made her exchange them for the correct bus. Wow! Someone in Thailand who actually helped us! My faith in humanity was temporarily restored. So, she gave us the correct tickets, and an hour later we were on the bus to Khao Sok. It was’t too bad of a bus ride and, sure enough, the bus dropped us off right at the front of the park. From there, it was a 2 km road filled with bungalows and resorts leading to the actual park entrance. However, a group of ladies sat at a table out front waiting for people to get off the bus and offer them rides to their accommodation. We had done a little research about possible places to stay and when we asked the ladies where they worked, one of them was one of the places on our list called Nunh House, so we went with her. 

Khao Sok is a quaint little village, with most of the action concentrating near the river that runs through the area.

We had a nice bungalow with its own hot shower for like 600BHT per night, located pretty close to the entrance of the park. The property was very pretty—quiet and tropical.

 There were a few other guests there, mostly people like us looking to get away from the crowd. We went to look for some food for dinner and found this place right on the main road that had a good looking menu at good prices. The owner was interesting guy as he was A) A foreigner and B) extremely picky about where people sat. We got sat at a table with this older American guy, who turned out to be super nice. His name was Kevin, he was a lawyer and had been living in China for the last 10 years or something but had traveled extensively. We talked about all the places we had been and lived and about our aspirations for the foreign service, and he was both interested and impressed having thought about the foreign service himself. He had an interesting perspective as he had been to Thailand about 20 years prior, before the tourism boom really took off and his opinion about the country matched very close to ours—he was still on the lookout for the unspoiled places in the country. We had a nice dinner together and said our goodbyes. 

The next two days we went tramping through different trails in the park. 

One trail we saw some wild monkeys in the trees—that was a fun time. The other trail took us through some forest-y jungle and along a river, where we saw a gigantic spider--not quite as fun.

It was a nice walk but we didn’t start out soon enough to finish the trail as it was quite long, so we got to a nice spot in a gorge with a running river, but when we discovered small leeches in our socks we decided to turn back around! 

I would end up with two leeches that stuck that I didn’t notice until the end of the trek, but luckily they were pretty small and I was able to easily knock them off! We also were hoping to see a special flower that is native to Khao Sok called the Rafflesia. It’s a huge flower and apparently it smells really bad—like burning corpses bad—but unfortunately it wasn’t the season for them to be in bloom. However, the information center had a nice exhibit and information about them.

That evening it was New Years Eve so we decided to head out into “town” to see what was going on. We had dinner at a delicious place called Art’s Tree House—another accommodation/restaurant further down the road. We heard good things about the restaurant and it didn’t disappoint! The whole time John had been asking for his meals “Thai spicy” and our waiter was super nice so this meal was about as close as he got. It was a great end-of-year meal and we walked back to our bungalow to get ready for the evening. The path back to the main road was quite dark without much light so at one point John turned on his flashlight so we could see and shined it directly on a snake that was slithering along the path! Good thing we saw it in time! We headed back to the bungalow to rest a bit, then headed out into town. The center of town had a few stalls where you could buy sparklers and Chinese lanterns to make a wish for the New Year. We decided on a red Chinese lantern and set it off into the sky to make our wish for 2013!

After that we walked along the road to find somewhere to grab a beer and found this small restaurant that was very lively with some sort of party and ended up chatting with a nice Dutch couple who were traveling with their kids—a young girl and a small baby boy. They were really, really nice and we chatted once again about some of our travels. They did things the smart way and rented a car in Bangkok and were just driving it all over the country. This significantly reduced the scamming that could occur, and with an adorably cute daughter they were treated kindly wherever they went—kids, I tell you. Travel anywhere with a baby and the best nature of people comes out. We chatted away with them for a while and they paid for John’s beer! Soon, it was getting a bit late for their kids and we bid them good night and happy new year and headed back to our own bungalow. We were getting sleepy at this point even though it was only 10:30, so we decided to take a rally nap and I set my alarm for 11:55 so we could wake up in time to celebrate the New Year. Well, we really are starting to get old because at 11:55 my alarm went off, but I couldn’t rouse John enough to get out of bed. So, at midnight I just stood out on the porch to watch some fireworks go off, took a shower, then went to sleep. What an exciting way to bringing 2013! But no worries, there was more excitement in store!

The next day was New Years day, but we felt it was time to move on. However, trying to travel during that time would be difficult as all the trains were booked, but we knew it would be possible if we could use the public buses. That morning while waiting to check out we heard the owners of our bungalow tell another family that it would be impossible to try to get anywhere on New Years, as the family was hoping to head up to Bangkok—however, we think this was just a ploy to try to get them to stay an extra night. When we checked in we only booked the three nights and asked the woman if we could get a ride back to the end of the road that morning to catch the public bus when it came through. She said yes but kept stalling for quite a while which made us nervous—we had already paid the bill and were just waiting to leave. Finally, we pushed a little asking her if it would be possible to get a ride SOON to the end of the road and she said she knew of a service that would pick us up at the resort and drive us to the bus station in Surat Thani. You would think we would have learned our lesson by now, but we were still trusting and so we obliged because we had a hunch that she didn’t want to drive us back to the end of the road, but in the end we wish we would have just walked the 2km and waited for the public bus. However, she called the bus and they came pretty quickly, collecting various tourists from different resorts and finally we were on the road to Surat Thani where we would catch a bus to Bangkok—and then get the hell out of the country. 

However, having been to one public bus station at least in Phuket, when the mini bus finally stopped, we knew this was NOT the public bus station. We asked the driver to take us to the public bus station and he insisted that this was it. No, it was a ramshackle collection of small, private bus companies that catered to tourists. Without a map or a smart phone, we had no way of knowing how to get to the actual station because we seriously would have walked there at that point, so we were stuck. We went to the most legitimate company we could find and asked for two tickets to Bangkok on the next bus. We asked where the bus dropped us off in Bangkok as well, and they said “main bus station” and the price they charged was conducive to the price listed in Lonely Planet, so we went with it. Our bus was a mix of tourists and foreigners so we were slightly hopeful—though when we saw the luggage compartment below I knew to be cautious. 

There is a well-known scam on buses that leave from a famous backpacking locale in Bangkok called Khao San Road. They say to never take buses from there because they always try to scam you and their luggage compartments are so large because someone goes through the luggage during the trip to steal whatever valuables they could find. Our bus had quite a cozy luggage compartment, so we made sure to keep our backpacks with all of our valuables with us in the coach, while just our clothes bags went underneath. The drive itself was’t that bad—just long at about 10 hours. We arrived into the vicinity of Bangkok around midnight. Soon, however, the bus started pulling over to the side of the road—literally—we were under a freaking overpass, and the guy announces that we were there! There was a whole mix of confusion from everyone as apparently we were all told different stories about where the bus would actually stop, and no one moved until we noticed that they started moving our luggage on to the sidewalk. So people, tired, confused, and angry, started unloading from the bus. 

Before we left Surat Thani, the driver and some other dude gave an offering to the Buddhist shrine at the front of the bus. It looked like those old plastic bottles of Kool-Aid. The guy gave the offering and prayed to the statue—for a safe drive I guess, but I don’t imagine his prayers extended to the people on the bus—considering they unceremoniously threw us onto the side of the highway outside Bangkok at midnight (after having, it would turn out, pilfered through the luggage underneath—though luckily I only had the cheap pair of shoes that I bought at the market in Hong Kong taken). There was even a Buddhist Monk on the bus and they threw him off! Seriously!? How do you expect to be reborn into something other than a cockroach in the next life if you throw a monk off your bus onto the side of the highway in the middle of the night!? My faith in humanity was dampened that night, but as we all meandered along the road, the Buddhist monk sitting down to smoke a cigarette, while taxis (who must have been very familiar with this scam) started to pull up to the curb to take our poor, stranded asses to our actual destination—I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. In that moment,  I had a newfound and passionate affection for first-world comforts like consumer protection and transportation laws. However, that moment  didn’t call for nostalgia but called for some improvisation, so we approached some taxis and asked to be taken to the “main bus station” but were met with blank stares. Wonderful. Luckily, there was a young Thai man nearby on the phone with someone from his family—presumably asking them to come pick him up from the side of the highway at midnight—but luckily he knew enough English to tell us the name of the main bus station in Bangkok, Mochit, and helped us get a taxi there. At least the driver used a freaking meter so the extra trip was only 250 BHT, but by the time we got to Mochit we were wiped. However, upon being approached by some creeepy dude who tried to talk to us, who ended up getting kicked out by a police officer a few hours later, we decided that sleep was not on the agenda for that night unless we wanted to risk our personal safety. So, we popped a squat on the floor near some dude who ended up snoring so loud that it echoed around the building (just a further indication of our luck) and waited until the morning when the window for buses to Cambodia opened up. We were ready to get the hell out of dodge!

Oh, Thailand. It was an exercise in frustration, tempered by the soothing satiation of delicious cuisine. But unfortunately, the food wasn’t enough to keep us there—time to move on! (And this time--plan ahead!) 

If you ever go to Thailand, please take my advice. 1) Avoid the touristy areas and seek out the smaller, out-of-the-way places. 2) For the love of Buddha, get your own transportation. 

Hong Kongcrete

Our venture to Hong Kong started with a flight with the most obnoxious girl I have ever met. It was a late flight and we had already spent the day waiting around hotels and airports. We decided to use a Chinese budget airline for the short flight from Shanghai to Hong Kong, as it was only about an hour and the tickets were wicked cheap. However, upon arrival at the airport terminal, our flight was delayed by another hour at least—what for we didn’t know, but it meant being stuck with the most obnoxious girl I’ve ever come across in my whole 18-country trip. In the terminal she was talking so loud on her phone/to the people next to her that literally the entire terminal could hear the whole conversation. She also had a couple of beers before boarding the plane. When they made an announcement that boarding would start shortly, she stands up and literally yells at the gate agent, “Am I boarding?! Am I boarding!?” waving at him. I prayed that we didn’t get seated next to her on the plane. Luckily we had an empty window seat on our three seat aisle and no one occupied it. However, after the plane takes off, this girl starts walking down the aisle asking people if they have a spare seat. NO one wanted to sit next to her, and when the flight attendant asked her to return to her original seat, she complained that the person sitting next to her was mean and didn’t want her to sit with them. Gee, I wonder why.

So she plops down next to this poor soul who was just one row in front of us on the opposite side. Close enough, however, to hear her obnoxious voice non-stop for the entire.plane.ride. When we started to descend she started freaking out, thinking the plane was going to crash. The flight attendants came over and gave her a paper bag and attention, neither of which was necessary—they should have just knocked her out. We finally land and get off the plane (noticing her empty beer cans on the floor in the process) and onto a bus where she further annoys us by dropping her bags onto some guys foot. We couldn’t get away from her fast enough!

By the time we landed with all the delays it was close to midnight. We had to gather our bags still and find a bus to take us into the center of town. We finally find the buses outside and see that there are (gratefully) a few buses heading into town this late. So we get in line, the bus finally arrives, but the driver tells us we have to go back into the terminal and buy a ticket as we can’t buy them on the bus?! So we begrudgingly get off the bus and head back to buy a ticket and wait another 45 minutes for the next bus to arrive. We finally make it to our hostel in downtown Hong Kong at about 2:30 a.m. Luckily the reception was 24 hours and I had e-mailed them from Shanghai when we found out our flight was late. We arrive into our 9-bed dorm room where the beds are stacked 3-high and the room is tiny. My bed has no pillow or blanket, there is someone else sleeping in John’s bed, and there is some random dude out on the balcony sleeping with, presumably, my pillow and blanket. NOT the way to start our next city. So I go back down to reception to tell the guy whats up. So he grabs me a spare pillow and blanket and comes up to the room and kicks the person out of John’s bed and back to their own, but gets John fresh linen as well. I mention the guy sleeping out on the balcony and he’s just like “oh, don’t worry about him.” !?

So anyways, I took a shower in our attached bathroom cause it had been ages and I didn’t care if it woke anyone as they stole our bedding and bed and conked out for a good night’s rest around 3:30 a.m. Well at least I tried, It’s Hong Kong, and the population density is very high.

Our first day was spent relaxing and walking around the city. The nickname for Hong Kong is “Hong Kongcrete” and that’s pretty accurate. Buildings and masses of people and lots of traffic and congestion—not exactly my cup of tea. On our walk around we did find, however, a small Thai restaurant that was actually pretty cheap and yummy—ended up going there twice for lunch because of the convenience. They had this drink made with lychee that was delicious! After that we just relaxed in the hostel as we were still exhausted from our late arrival. Plus, we had to sleep in a dorm which is never restful. 

The next day we were able to meet up with our friend Kenny who was going to take us around Hong Kong! Having family who lived there, speaking Cantonese, and knowing the city were definite perks and we were able to have a great day experiencing all that Hong Kong had to offer. We started off the morning getting “tickets” for a restaurant called Tim Ho Won. It’s a small dim sum establishment but it’s claim to fame is being the cheapest Michelin star restaurant in the world! You can tell how popular the place is as you have to arrive in the morning and get your name on a waiting list and then they tell you a time to come back later for your loose reservation. We got there a little past 10 am and there was already a crowd!

We got our names on the list for like 2 o’clock that afternoon so we decided to walk around the city for a while. First stop was walking through the markets as I was on the hunt for some new shoes. 

The ones I had been wearing since Australia had developed holes and the bottom and they were particularly unforgiving in the freezing temperatures of Beijing so I decided I should probably buy a new pair. Kenny was nice enough to help bargain for me, and I ended up with a pair of flats for about $12. They were really cute but they needed breaking in as they started to give me blisters after not too long, so I bought some socks to go with them. The markets were fun to browse through, as you never knew what you would find. 

When the time finally came for us to head back to the restaurant, there was still a crowd outside but they had finished taking reservations for the day! Before 2 o’clock! We actually still had to wait about another hour until our table was actually ready, but man was I excited (and hungry!) when it was our turn. Luckily, all that waiting was worth it cause the food was delicious. They had the best pork buns I’ve ever eaten, and John decided to munch on some yummy chicken feet.

They also had some delicious dim sum desserts. 

After our late lunch, we went for a quick pit stop at Kenny’s uncles place since it wasn’t too far away and he had to grab something from the apartment as that’s where he was staying. Turns out they live on an upper floor of a tall apartment building and have a pretty nice view of the bay.

They gave us the idea to spend the afternoon going to see the big buddha on one of the small islands outside the crowded Kowloon. So we decide to do just that, and would’t you know, when we got there we got a nice discount for the cable car trip to the top of the mountain (where the big buddha was located).  I don’t know if it was just a special holiday, or if it was because we were foreigners, but the discount was nice! So we took the cable car to the top and had some beautiful views.

It was getting late in the day so we managed to kind of catch the sunset. We walked around the property and inside the shrine where they had some relics on display—apparently it was a finger bone of Siddhartha Gautama—the original buddha. Not really sure about that one, but they treated it with reverence and heavy security. 

After visiting the shrine we walk about a bit more and run into a woman selling Vitasoy, which is a popular chocolately soy drink in Hong Kong. They serve it hot or cold and that evening it was getting a bit chilly so it was nice to have a warm chocolate drink to keep the chill at bay. 

We finally made our way back to the cable car line to go down which had gotten REALLY long, as everything was closing and, hence, everyone was leaving at once. So while we were waiting in line for almost an hour or more to get back down the mountain, we struck up a nice conversation with the Australian couple that was standing in line in front of us. As we pretty much had a whole other hour to wait, we ended up getting to know them pretty well and even shared the cable car back down when it was finally our turn. Once we got back onto Hong Kong island we all decided to go to dinner together, since it was that time, and settled on a yummy Japanese restaurant near one of the subway stations. It was a fun and social evening, having dinner with our newly-made-but-never-to-be-seen-again friends. Such is the nature of traveling. 

After dinner that evening we decided to head out for a quick drink with Kenny in this popular area of Hong Kong known for lots of bars and clubs. Not exactly our scene, but we went anyways. There were heaps of people out that night, crowded into bars, sitting at tables on the street, or just drinking their booze from 7-11 right on the sidewalk. We finally found a nice, quieter bar on the second floor to have a quick drink. They had wine and some decent beers and a nice, quieter atmosphere so it was a good way to end the day!

The next morning we were up and out to catch our flight to Thailand. On the way to the airport we started talking with this nice South African guy on the bus, who had actually stayed in our room on the last night as well. We had several hours to kill and while the Hong Kong airport was quite nice, there were almost NO power outlets as we were hoping to go on our computers to pass the time. So instead we were actually social creatures and chatted with our new friend while we both waited for our flights.

We were excited about Thailand and Southeast Asia and Christmas was quickly approaching. Hong Kong was a nice jaunt and it was great to experience the city with Kenny.  Hostels aside, we still managed to have a nice time and I came away with a nice souvenir of some new shoes (which I would only be able to enjoy for a short time)—more on that story in the next installment!

Number One Time in China!

I feel like it's a common trend in America to equate all Asian cultures as the same. Japanese, Chinese, Korean—everyone regards them as the same thing or similar. However, upon arrival in China, it became apparent to John and I very quickly that Asian cultures have their striking differences. Upon arrival in Shanghai, we were rushed from our airplane, through security and customs, and quickly boarded back on the plane. When we finally arrived in Beijing and were exiting from the airport, an old lady next to us tried to cut in line with her bags on the way out. There was a certain irreverence that did not exist in Japan, which was all about formality and politeness. In China, we quickly learned that in order to get through the crowd, you didn't lineup, but push your way through. Also, you had better carry your own toilet paper with you as it was not guaranteed. Also, just an FYI, as a general principle, the Japanese and Chinese don’t even like each other—so there’s that. 

At the airport in Beijing, we were picked up by a lovely Chinese girl named Flora. Her English was great, which was reassuring as it became clear that a lack of any Chinese or Mandarin knowledge would make travel in the country a little more difficult, perhaps a lot difficult. Yet, we were picked up from the airport without a hitch and brought to our hotel. One of the most attractive aspects of our Chinese tour was the promise of five-star hotels at a very cheap rate. After having spent time in bungalows with no air-conditioning, a borrowed room in Singapore, and small dorm rooms, we were grateful for any luxury that China could provide. Our first hotel in Beijing was called King Wing Hotel. It was a bit dated, but compared to what we had been staying in, it was a treat. The first thing I noticed was the amusing translation on the bathroom wall. It was trying to describe the characteristics of the special spa water that the hotel used. It was an “A” for effort and an “A+” for amusement. The biggest perk was that it was warm. Stepping out into the cold Beijing air in December was quite a shock to the system. However we warmed ourselves that night with a yummy dumpling and bok choy dinner in the hotel. 

The next morning was our first experience with a Chinese breakfast. The options were very plentiful, varied, and interesting. An eclectic mix of Chinese and Western-style options was usually how I started the day. We also met up with the two other women who were on the Beijing leg of our trip–Susan and Elaine. They were both Canadians, but technically called “overseas Chinese”, visiting their home country on a trip sponsored by the government. They were very nice, and Elaine would turn out to be a great addition to our tour as she could translate all the Chinese for us, as it turns out the tour guides were not so great at English. 

Our first day in Beijing was, naturally, to the Great Wall of China. However, in order to get there we had to first maneuver our way through the great traffic of China. I can tell you one thing I would never, ever drive in Beijing. Nor would I ever be keen to use the toilet again. Along the way, one of our companions, Susan, had to use the restroom. We had nowhere else to stop but at a small gas station on the side of the road. This was my first introduction to Chinese toilets and it was certainly a memorable one—a hole in the ground, no toilet paper, and very interesting sign on the wall. 

We stopped at a Jade factory along the way, where naturally pretty young Chinese girls all dressed the same tried to convince us to buy their authentic “premium” Chinese jade jewelry. Fortunately, they were not as pushy as we expected them to be and nowhere as pushy as we would certainly encounter at other Chinese shopping malls. Having purchased our own Jade in New Zealand, we were immune to their charms. However, John did leave with a small marble stamp, with his name etched by hand in the Mandarin characters. We would see this type of trinket at other places, but they always used a Dremel tool rather than etching by hand. 

We also stopped at a Cloisonné factory, where we were able to see how it was made—the skill and delicacy required, and filled up on our Chinese buffet before heading out to the Great Wall.  

The section of the Wall that our tour guide chose was not the usual one that you see in photos, of a long flat meandering wall wandering the Chinese countryside. Ours was steep with vertical stairs rising up and up. It was nice actually, as the higher we climbed the warmer we got (in the freezing winter Beijing temperatures) and the further away we got from the hordes of tourists who could only climb so far. By the time we got to the top, there was not a soul in sight and the view was beautiful. Plus my feet were finally warm, having had a hole in the bottom of my shoe. 

When we got back down to the bottom, two young girls approached me asking to take their picture with me. I found this unusual but flattering, and I obliged. Turns out this would be a very common occurrence in China. The locals like to take pictures with anybody who looks different. As a pale white girl with blue eyes, I certainly looked different.

Our next stop on our whirlwind tour of the day was the Summer Palace which, given its namesake, is still beautiful even in the winter. The frozen water and the slowly setting sun behind the Beijing smog gave an almost ethereal feeling to the place. 

The main attraction was the famous Long Corridor, running over 700 m long. We we walked the whole thing, the whole time being followed by four men. Finally, at the end, they approached us and revealed their reason for pretty much stalking us for the entire 700m —they wanted a picture with John and I. Talk about persistence.  Hence began the long running joke that I was some famous person visiting in China and my tour mates were my “posse". Elaine even jokingly began asking people for money whenever they came up wanting a picture. No one ever coughed up the dough, but I took a picture with them anyway. A few probably even snuck a few while I wasn’t looking. I was flattered. Today, I wonder how many random Chinese websites have my picture floating around. 

The other interesting part of the Summer Palace was a large giant stone, mined from a single boulder and sitting in the middle of a random courtyard. Flora told us at that after all the time, effort, and money a former emperor spent to bring this relatively useless stone to it’s final resting place, the Chinese irreverently referred to it as the “waste of money stone.” Straight talk (a rarity in China I found)—I like it. 

By the end of the day I was tired of signing autographs :) and my shoes still had the holes in the bottom which meant my feet were absolutely freezing and I was ready to head to our restaurant for the night. It was time to enjoy the Beijing specialty of Peking duck! Along the way, we stopped at the Olympic attractions of the water cube and birds nest, a point of pride for the Chinese but nonetheless still empty buildings. 

One could call it “the waste of money cube,” if they were honest about it.  Apparently, the water cube has been turned into a water park which would've been fun, but not in the -8* Celsius. I much preferred the comfortable warm restaurant and delicious Peking duck to cap off the day.

The next morning it was time to hit the rest of the highlights for our final day in Beijing. We started with an early morning visit to Tianmen Square.

 After a few pictures in the famous space we noticed the line to visit the Chairman Mao Mausoleum was almost non-existent. So, after a quick vote we elected to make an impromptu visit to see good ole Mao. We had to surrender our bags and cameras at security, and we had to continue walking once we got to the room with his body lying in state, but it was an interesting experience. I had seen a few Popes in various degrees of decomposition when we visited the Vatican a few years before, but Mao Tse Tung looked pretty much the same as I image he did 40 years ago—they pump them full of formaldehyde and I’m sure his face and skin is covered in some special makeup and wax to hide any signs of decay. Plus, it’s China, it could have been dummy body while the real one is being preserved—still, it was cool in a morbid sort of way. 

After our little rendezvous we headed to the Forbidden City, whose entrance was just across the street from the square. Outside the entrance policemen were milling around and pulling out random people to check their IDs. For what purpose I’m not sure, but it surely wasn’t for a democratic one. We evaded examination and made our way to the entrance. It was here where I was able to put my pushing and elbowing skills to the test. I didn’t try out public spitting, however—that would wait until India (and that story will wait for another blog post).

Once inside, Flora gave us a lot of interesting information about the place, revealing a lot about how serious the Chinese take their superstitions. 9 being a lucky number, there are 9,999 rooms in the Forbidden City—a number of these reserved for concubines who had their own special area of the palace. The colors were red (being a lucky color) and the roof yellow (also a lucky color). All around the place were normal stairs for all of us plebeians to take, while the center flight of stairs, reserved in the past for the emperors to use, were blocked off. There were also huge pots dotted around the place. They were painted in gold and hence had scratch marks from where looters tried to scrape some off ( they were far too large to carry). Apparently the old palace used to be made of wood, hence these pots were filled with water in the event of a fire or attack.

After visiting the main courtyard, we ventured to the throne room and special rock garden before ending our visit.

In between the palace and our next stop, we grabbed a quick lunch in the city. Snake juice anyone?

The later part of the morning was spent wandering around the Beijing Zoo. Panda’s were naturally the main attraction, and we were able to see a few of them hanging around that day. Having seen Panda’s at the Atlanta, Washington DC, AND San Diego Zoo it wasn’t too terribly exciting. 

We found some monkeys in the park who provided more amusement. 

After the zoo we were headed to the old district of Beijing. Now, along the way I learned something very interesting about the Chinese language that would prove useful for the rest of the tour. Apparently Mandarin doesn’t have past or future tense. The way sentences are constructed, they say something to the effect of “We do this now.” or “We do this before.” or “We do this later.” Upon heading to our next destination our tour guide Flora announced that “Later we go to the Old Beijing district.” Two minutes later, “ok we’re here.” !?!? Apparently, “soon” or “In a minute” doesn’t exist in their vocabulary. After being startled the first few times this happened, I began to catch on and knew that “later” could mean at any time in the future (near or distant)—so it was better to be prepared for anything. 

Upon arriving in the Old Beijing district, we took a rickshaw ride through the streets. Given how cold it was , we were happy to at least have a thick blanket to keep us warm. 

Our main stop on the ride was an old Chinese-house, constructed in the traditional square configuration in which each portion of the house, or each direction, has a specific purpose. The middle of the house is an open, uncovered courtyard, with all the rooms facing toward the center. A young Chinese teenager was our guide for this portion of the tour, but her English was actually quite good. Good enough to muscle us into going into the “marriage” room of the house and staging a fake marriage ceremony for John and I. Red from floor to ceiling, with a big bed and pot of lucky goldfish—all the ingredients necessary for a happy marriage. Luckily this young girl was in no way legally empowered to perform marriages, but here are the pictures for posterity:

Our final jaunt of the day was some bargain shopping at one of the cheap Chinese markets. John and I had no desire to spend money on souvenirs, but our tour mates Susan and Elaine wanted some, so we were ready to play hardball for them. The market was definitely full of knock off-stuff, and several stalls had pretty much the same thing, which made it easier for us as we could play them off one another. Flora told us that whatever starting price the merchant gave, to cut it in half or even more and start from there. Elaine didn’t listen to this particular bit of information and didn’t ask us for help either, and ended up paying like 300 RMB (or like $50) for some cheap satin shirt that another stall was selling for $20 (which she only found out about after buying it from the first one.) Susan, however, was keen to let John bargain for her and ended up getting 3 T-shirts for $20 instead of the 1 for $20. There was one obnoxious, loud shop girl there who acted “offended” when we started our bidding war with $5 for 1 t-shirt. I believe her exact phrase was, “You’re saying my stuff is junk!?” I didn’t reply, but I wanted to say, “No, it’s not junk but it is made for pennies by some kids in a sweatshop somewhere who get paid practically nothing and live 10 to a room in squalor, which you buy in bulk from, with no import tax, probably for $1 so I’d say $5 is a fair mark-up.” But I didn’t say that—cause I would have been rude and condescending. I did enjoy the witty t-shirts though, and even though there were signs that said “NO PHOTOS” I ignored that and took some pics anyway:

The one and only black guy in the market did pretty well for himself, though. Some American kid. He got the bonus points for extra novelty. 

Our tour of Beijing that night was supposed to end with some Kung-fu show. John and I opted out as it would have cost us an extra $30 each to attend. However, as the driver had to wait for Susan and Elaine to finish, and we didn’t want to sit in a frigid van for an hour—did I mention the driver never put the heat on the in the car the whole trip because he thought it would waste gas!?—we said goodbye to Flora and she helped us catch a cab ride back to the hotel. It was only $5 and so well worth it. 

We were up at 5:30 the next morning to catch our flight to Nanjing. We arrived and were picked up by a driver who was to take us to some restaurant for lunch where we would be meeting up with the rest of a larger tour group for our remainder of time in China. We originally booked our tour through an Australian website at a discounted rate and was told our tours would be capped at 18, with English-speaking tour guides, and 5-star hotels, and yada yada . . . this is CHINA. C’mon. Also it was winter so we were the only two to book though this Agency for this particular tour. So, after Beijing, we were combined with another tour group called JACO. It was comprised all of overseas Chinese Canadians who had also come to China on a discount tour to visit the motherland and go shopping (essentially). We met up with the other 25 people at the restaurant, plus Susan and Elaine, in Nanjing that afternoon and were introduced to James, who was the tour coordinator. He kinda spoke English and had one of those abnormally long pinky nails which kinda freaked you out, but he was nice. The rest of our tour, we would come to find out, would be conducted in Chinese, with James providing a very brief translation, and only sometimes. This was not a problem for everyone else—since most of the people on the tour knew Mandarin, as they were bilingual, but at least they could translate for us. Which became Elaine’s official job when James was slacking. 

But yes, in Nanjing that afternoon we were seated in a restaurant at one of those big round tables, which was now filled by other members from the tour group. Outside we would see the Nanjing wall, the little sister to it’s famous counterpart.

We would be sitting with the same people for all of our meals for the rest of the time as well. I actually really liked our table, as everyone was friendly and chatty, and also as we were the only ones who would drink and/or finish the Chinese beer that was brought out at each meal—if that gives you any indication of the nature of our group—we were pretty chill. 

After the lunch and our round of introductions, we were off to the Sun Yat Sen mausoleum. Now, the bus rides would be occupied by the tour guide giving out a berth of information, in Mandarin, so we pretty much just looked out the window the whole time. The mausoleum was actually beautiful and even though you had to climb a lot of stairs to the get to the top, once you got there the view was beautiful and the public toilets were pretty clean! Here are some photos of our stop there (minus the ones I took with my fans). Yes, I was approached here several times for photo ops as well. 

I find it kinda strange that the Chinese have such reverence for Sun Yat Sen and Mao Tse Tung, as the two were basically enemies and had drastically different ideas about what kind of country China should be. Ultimately, Mao won, and still maintains a God-like status even though he starved like 30 million people, but whatever. I digress.  

After the mausoleum was yet another stop, at another Jade Factory. We were told by many on the tour that this was basically shopping trip. The price paid by most participants was very low as it was subsidized by the government in order to bring overseas Chinese back and take them on a tour where they could buy their eyes out on Chinese goods. Everyday, we stopped at at least one factory and got some sort of presentation and then at least an hour to shop. We heard stories that in some places they take to you a showroom and will shut the door and won’t let your group out until someone buys something! Luckily we had some aunties on our tour who were ready to spend some serious RMB.

So, we basically spent half of our trip wandering around Chinese factories, but luckily we made some friends to help us get through. That evening, we stopped at some special market in Nanjing, right next to the river. It had a famous Confucius temple where there used to be an academy for philosophers and other men. Down the street was a brothel. It’s like peanut butter and jelly. 

We learned the story of the Golden Lotus and why women bind their feet. Basically it’s because some Emperor saw some chick walk on a really small piece of wood on water and thought it was the coolest thing ever, and had to ruin it for all future women of China because he had a foot fetish. That’s the urban dictionary version, but the result is still the same. Anywho, after wandering around this famous market and John trying some “stinky tofu” (yeah, I decided against that one), we met back up with the group where we were introduced to the only two kids who were also our age on the tour! Their names were Kenny, who was our age, and his sister, Sally, who had just graduated from college. They also had their younger brother there as well.  From Toronto, they were on a family tour with their parents, who were from Hong Kong and hence only spoke/understood Cantonese so they were just as lost half the time as we were! It was refreshing to be able to hang out with some young adults and speak English, and we pretty much hung out for the duration of the tour, mocking all the weird stuff we were bound to run into. 

So after this, the tour became much more enjoyable—even more so because the hotel rooms were actually pretty nice and we were able to sleep comfortably each night. Our hotel in Nanjing was called the Ding Ding Hotel—fun name, but man we had a nice room! It was loft-style so we had a bottom floor with a bathroom and living room and the upstairs was the bedroom. Not a bad gig if you can get it. 

Our first stop the following morning was a special bridge in Nanjing. It’s a point of pride for the locals as apparently it’s an old bridge that was in decline because the local government didn’t want to spend the money to fix it (and you can’t just vote out government officials in China), so instead the people themselves scrounged up the money and did the repairs on the bridge themselves. Impressive, ingenuitive, and decidedly non-communist. “So the local government doesn’t want to follow our wishes? Okay we’ll just subvert them and use private enterprise to get the job done.” 

After this it was time for more shopping! At a government sponsored factory, of course. This time it was pearl. We were shuffled into a room where we were given a presentation about these special pearl dust products and all of their beneficial health properties, yada yada yada. Then it was to another show room where another group of young girls all dressed the same would try to sell us yet another over-priced “government approved” product. Kenny, Sally, John, and I mostly wandered around through Kenny did buy nice necklaces for his mom and girlfriend—and showed Elaine how haggling is done. Another lady in the group, and one of our nightly dinner table members, bought some stupid expensive ring for like $1,500 but spent her sweet time picking it out, so they actually had her driven privately after her purchase to meet up with the group, as we had to leave earlier. 

At two different places in China we were told we would be visiting “gardens.” But by “gardens” they actually mean “houses,” although the houses were huge and did have gardens in them, but I was very surprised when we stopped at the first one as I had a very different image in mind when I read “garden” on the itinerary. They are old, sprawling family homes once owned by the elite Chinese people, that now kind of serve as museums. They are still built in that traditional square style, only the square is MUCH bigger. They have a lot more rooms and some fancy decor as well. Also, in the doorways of all the houses (and we noticed this as the Forbidden City as well) was almost like a small wall in the doorway. You always had to step over it in order to get it—and this was common everywhere. Apparently it’s roots are in Chinese superstition. Some say the higher the little wall, the more elite the person. Others said it was to protect the house against ghosts and unwanted spirits. Apparently the Chinese believe ghosts move around by hopping, and thus by erecting this barrier in front of a doorway, ghosts cannot hop over it and enter. I figure if it’s a ghost and hence a non-sold matter being it could just go right through the barrier, but to each their own. The house was still really nice and we took lots of pictures of their fancy garden in the back. We had one of those crazy “Auntie” ladies on our tour—an old woman traveling alone, highly kooky but amusing, and took her iPad with her everywhere snapping photos and Googling information (as much as Google China would allow, at least).  

We got a tour of the house from James, which I can safely say was a completely different tour from what they rest of the group got from the official tour guide—but would have been useless to use as it was still in Mandarin. 

The house was the last stop for us for the day, and we headed back to the Ding Ding hotel for the night, passing along the way some special rich city located just outside Nanjing proper. It was comprised of only the elite and rich in China, like I think you had to apply to even live there, offering the best and most lucrative jobs for the rich and their offspring and driving up housing prices in the area as well. An extreme example of concentrated wealth, or a physical manifestation of people living in an ivory tower, isolating themselves from the poor plebeians. An interesting insight into the current and future possibilities of socioeconomic life in China, as both the middle class and gap between rich and poor widens. The US isn’t that far behind, either. 

The next day we were off to the modern city of Suzhou. Our tour guide for this portion of the trip was Jessica, an incredibly bubbly and loud girl, but who actually spoke some English which was a nice change. She would conduct most of the tour in Mandarin, but would translate the highlights into English for us. I’m sure Elaine was grateful for the change. The required shopping trip of the day was at a silk factory. This place was actually pretty amusing and enjoyable. In the first part of the tour they took us to the place where workers collect the silk from silk worms and stretch it and spin it into yarn. The second part of the tour they ushered us into a room where we got our own personal fashion show! Kenny and John got a kick out of this as they had a catwalk, lights, music, and the poor shop girls had to model their silk fashions down the runway for a bunch of old Chinese Canadians. It was a hoot.

Finally we went into the showroom where Jessica told everyone about the very “special” deal we would be getting. Kenny informed us that if the tour spends so much money at these places that the tour guide gets a cut of it for bringing them there. In this showroom we noticed that they actually shut the doors once everyone was inside! This wasn’t a worry though, as a bunch of people bought silk comforters, clothing, scarves, etc. . . I was actually looking at the silk scarves as they had some for pretty cheap but ultimately stuck to our M.O. of not buying any souvenirs in China. This is also where we got to know another girl named Terri. Terri was also another girl around our age who had just graduated from college and was on the tour with her mother. Terri, however, actually spoke Mandarin, as well as Japanese and English (of course), so she actually spent her time listening to the tour guide, as opposed to the rest of us who had to amuse ourselves. She was really nice though, and spent the second half of the tour hanging out with us more. 

That evening Jessica took us around central Suzhou, of which she was extremely proud. We went to some special LED light canopy, “Number one in all of China! Number one!” Chinese love their rankings and they love to be ranked “Number one!” It was kinda cool, it had lights, it was a canopy. 

The riverbank was actually very pretty with all the lights on that night. For dinner we also went to the largest restaurant I have ever seen (though apparently not the largest in China). Seriously, it looked like a hotel:

There was even a young couple who were having their wedding reception there, next to all the tacky Christmas decorations (remember this was in December). 

After dinner, the rest of the tour headed to some special show. After all the Beijing Olympic hype, they started this show as a way to capitalize on the fascination of well-choreographed and costumed routines. They said this show was famous, but as it would cost John and I an extra $45 each (while everyone else already had it included in their JACO tour) we opted against it and sat on the bus for over an hour. Now, the interesting part came earlier in the day when James approached us and asked if we wanted to pay to do any of the optional shows included on the tour (this show, a cruise on Westlake, and a cruise on the river in Shanghai). His exact words were, “China is democracy now. You can choose.”

Oh, James. 

It was an extremely illuminating comment for sure, and props to the Chinese central party for actually convincing people that China was now a “democracy,”  but I bit my tongue instead of saying, “You mean China is kinda becoming Capitalist now. Meaning you can choose from which government-owned factory you wish to shop.” But I didn’t. I figured this tour would not be the place to start a political debate, seeing as how I had to turn over my passport to the hotel front desk every night so they could keep track of all of us as we traveled around the country. I simply smiled, and declined to pay for the show that evening. Upon return, Kenny told John and us that it wasn’t really that great, lacking any real purpose or story, and that it certainly didn’t live up to the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Kenny’s younger brother said it was a waste of time and that he would have rather sat in the bus with us. :)

The following day was one of my favorites as we visited one of the historical Chinese towns called Wuzen, known as the “water canal” town because, you guessed it, it’s got a big water canal running through it. It has also preserved old Chinese architecture and the tour included a lot of really cool stuff. The old streets with shops and old homes was pretty cool. We saw old Chinese beds, tasted Chinese liquor/spirits out of a barrel (man that stuff was strong!), watched people use an old traditional method to dye cloth, and ended our tour with a boat ride along the canal.

Once again I missed a lot of the information as I didn’t understand a word from the tour guide, but looking around was fun enough and we had some translated signs to help us: 

The next day was our last with Kenny and Sally, as half the group was heading to the Yellow Mountains for two nights, while the rest of us were finishing up in Shanghai. The last tour guide, however, spoke Cantonese rather than Mandarin, so Kenny was able to translate for us this time. The first stop was at a tea plantation. We were ushered into another room, where we got another presentation, from another young lady who drilled us about the ingredients in green tea that make it healthy. Polyphenol’s you guys. It’s all about the polyphenol.

She did a pretty good job hawking her expensive tea. We were able to try their top of the line “emperor” level for free before she dropped the bomb about how freaking expensive it was—over $100 for a pound. Yeah, no thanks. John just bought a cheap bag in the gift shop before we headed out. Next we went to a tea pot museum which was actually pretty cool. 

They showed us how they make tea pots and all the different and creative designs they can do. They also showed us some of the science behind the tea pot, about the balance and how to make it pour just so. It was actually pretty cool and a couple of people ended up buying some tea pot sets. This is one thing John would have liked to get but we didn’t want to travel with it for another 5 months and it really wasn’t in the budget. Still, a nice day which ended with a cruise on the Westlake Lake. The boat itself was very pretty and while the cruise was uneventful, it lent itself to some nice photos:

The area around the lake was beautiful as well, even on a cloudy/smoggy day:

Before heading to Shanghai, where foreigners are a common sight, I had one last photo shoot with some curious tourists. I’m laughing in the last photo because as I posed for John to take a picture of me, two other girls came up to take a photo at the same time. Kenny and his brother got a kick out of this as much as we did when it first started happening. 

We took one final group shot of the whole tour before going our separate ways. However, we would find out that Kenny and his family would be heading to Hong Kong next, which is where John and I were headed, and made plans to meet up again!

Our group was to take the big tour bus into Shanghai while about 15 of them were supposed to take a mini-bus to the Yellow Mountains. When some of the women saw the size of the bus they weren’t having any of it and put up quite a big stink, which meant we were delayed a bit while they tried to sort it out. Eventually we left and made the hour or so drive into Shanghai where our first stop was lunch. Now, the Chinese, in an effort to clean up their image (probably before the Olympics), started giving hygiene ratings to restaurants. These were indicated by either a happy face, a straight face, or a frown face based on the rating. The whole time we had been eating at “smiley face” restaurants, until Shanghai when they took us to the “straight face” one. I get that Shanghai can be expensive and hence they have to cut costs somewhere but this made me nervous. Cause I mean, it’s not even a legitimate ratings system and I bet the Chinese standards are not quite the same as American ones. Lead paint and contaminated milk and all that. I didn’t each much besides some rice and vegetables and even Elaine noted that the food wasn’t very good. After lunch we went to yet ANOTHER Jade factory. I had become quite jaded about shopping at this point (ha ha). So John and I hung around while the group went to some presentation. Apparently they put on this show where the young girl is giving her spiel when “gasp!” an important person shows up to greet these honored guests and tries to make them feel guilty if they walk away without buying anything! We know this is a ruse because Kenny’s group would head to Shanghai right after we left and their group got the same act. 

However, apparently in our group the Auntie with the iPad obsession started asking questions to this dude that were not PC, and certainly not conducive to the image of China that they tried so hard to demonstrate on the tour. She started asking questions about how kids of party leaders can get into trouble and just get bailed out with no consequences, while other people are sent to labor camps. Yeah, apparently the “special” guest was not impressed with her line of inquiry and they kinda got in an argument. Now I wish I has been there! You go old crazy lady! I mean hey, it’s got nothing to do with Jade, but it’s a legitimate question. I guess she thought it would be safer to start stirring the pot at the end of the tour, and while she still had her passport (as we hadn’t checked into a hotel yet). 

The last major excursion of the tour was a stop at a Chinese medicine place in town. We went into this room where we were invited to take our shoes off and some young guys would come in and give everyone foot massages in this bath of special Chinese herbs. I figured when in Rome, so I sat in the back and took my shoes off. Now, when the gaggle of guys came in to give massages they all avoided me like the plague! When there was only a few of us left without a masseuse (me, Elaine, and Susan) two of them tried to sit in front of Elaine so they wouldn’t have to come over to me! I wasn’t really offended as I acknowledged the awkwardness of the situation and was just going to put my shoes back on when one of their managers or supervisors or whatever made one of them come over to me. Yeah, we didn’t make eye contact like the whole time. Then, we had some “doctors” come in and chat with different “patients” in order to talk about their health problems and prescribe them some crack-pot over-priced Chinese herbs. They avoided John and I like the plague too. Terri said one of the men tried to prescribe her stuff for menstrual cramps. She told them she was fine. 

I read an article later, well after we had left China, about Chinese medicine. Some of the people on the tour used it, even though they have perfectly good (and socialized) healthcare in Canada, but they said it was more of a preventative thing—trying to stay healthy rather than treating sickness. The article I read said that Mao Tse Tung himself didn’t actually believe in it. Privately, he was treated with a Western doctor using Western medicine. However, once becoming Chairman he wanted to push for a Chinese identity and way of life that was distinctive from the West, as Communism was so distinctive from the West, thus really pushed the Chinese medicine thing as a point of pride and as means of national identity. If the article is true it’s a really fascinating topic as clearly the craze caught on and persists to this day. Though another woman on the tour said those doctors were “quacks” as any good doctor would have patients lining up to see them, rather than having doctors line up to treat patients. It was a good point.  

The last stop of the night was a special shopping district in Shanghai called Chenhuang. It was all lit up at night which was kinda cool, but once again John and I just walked around having tired of the relentless pressure to buy things on the trip. 

We did, however, stumble upon some pretty amusing stuff:

Afterwards, the rest of the group was taking a cruise on the river in Shanghai, but John and I didn’t want to pay extra for this. There was another woman in our group, Bonnie, who had her young son with her who also just wanted to get to the hotel and check in as it was getting late. She asked us if we wanted to split a taxi to the hotel rather than waiting another hour on the bus and we said sure. Luckily, Bonnie spoke Mandarin and was a force to be reckoned with. We gathered our bags and the four of us pilled into a taxi while Bonnie gave the driver the name of our hotel. At one point on the drive, she pulled out her itinerary and information sheet to make sure we were going to the right place. The driver asked to see it and all I know next is that she had a very heated exchange with him. 

Apparently it went something like this:

Driver: Can I see the map?

Bonnie: You said that you knew where the hotel was! We’re you lying to me!? If you don’t know then drop us off right now!

Driver: No, I wasn’t. I know where it is.

Bonnie: Then you don’t need to see the map! Take us straight there. No long side roads to run up the fare, or I will call the company and complain and we don’t pay. 

Driver: *continues driving in silence*

Go Bonnie! I was really grateful to have her for that cab ride. Sure enough, it was a short cab ride and the guy dropped us off right up front. We paid our fare and he left. 

It was a pretty nice hotel and we had a nice sleep. The next day was the last day of the tour for everyone and it was a free day in Shanghai. I woke up that morning to news of the Sandy Hook shooting, which had made it’s way to even the Chinese news agency,  which made for lovely breakfast conversation as we fielded questions about America and our ass-backwards gun laws. I won’t even go there right now.

We spent the day walking along the main shopping road of Shanghai and along the “Bund” or the famous boardwalk along the river. I’m not that into cities and Shanghai to me just felt like another city. Plus, it still had a lot of smog, too. Though it was significantly warmer than Beijing had been, so that was a plus. 

As we wandered around the bund we were randomly approached by a young Chinese couple, who spoke surprisingly good English, who asked us to take their picture. The interaction didn’t stop there, though, as afterwards they roped us into conversation, asking about what we were doing in China, where we had been, where we were going next,etc . . . I was starting to get annoyed and was trying to politely excuse ourselves when they dropped the bomb, “We are on our way to this great Chinese Tea Ceremony. It’s a famous tradition. Do you guys want to join?”

Ah Hah!

In my research about China before we ever went on the tour, I read about the famous “Tea Ceremony” scam, targeted at Westerners in big cities. Young, attractive English-speaking Chinese people would approach you, try to befriend you, maybe even offer to show you around. Soon after they would invite you to a “tea ceremony” at some house tucked down some random side street where you would try all these teas and then, at the end, be presented with an enormous bill. Some people lost hundreds of dollars over this thing. I was well aware of it’s existence well before, and as soon as these people mentioned “tea ceremony” I knew what was up. 

I wasn’t rude to them, even though I really wanted to be as I knew they were just trying to scam us. I just politely declined and said I was tired and just wanted to go back to our hotel. They were persistent, but I said no again and then started walking away, with John following. Luckily, they knew they wouldn’t get us and so left to try their tricks on some other poor fool. 

I would not be tricked into some overpriced bullshit again! (I had promised myself after Bali). 

So indeed, we headed back to the hotel to relax before we were off to find dinner, as we were on our own that final evening. The concierge at the hotel recommended this shopping center about 10 minutes down the street, as we could find a variety of affordable food there. So that’s where we headed and ended up finding a pretty decently-priced place where we were able to order dumplings, pork buns, and bok choy. The only downside was that there were two people smoking at a table nearby. Indoor smoking bans are not yet a thing in China, though they certainly should be. We managed to avoid smokers most of the time, but not always. With their terrible smog you would think they punish their lungs enough, but apparently not. They are paying for it now, though, in the form of lung cancer. 

Anywho, we enjoyed our last meal and made our way back to the hotel. The next morning we had to check out early but our flight to Hong Kong wasn’t until the evening so we mostly hung around the hotel all day using their free wifi until our driver showed up around 3 pm. 

Our tour had been an enjoyable one and we were happy that we had been able to make friends with people our age. It was an interesting tour and definitely a very carefully constructed version of China that we was presented, but still enjoyable nonetheless. I would like to go back, this time on our own, do no shopping but explore more of the natural beauty of China, like Xi’an, Guiling, and hopefully Tibet. But yes, from a political and economic standpoint, as a Westerner it was an interesting experience, and 10 days was not nearly long enough to fully understand and appreciate the complexities of a country such as China, as I felt our initial introduction was so superficial. Ultimately, though, we were glad we went. 

Most importantly, I do wonder where all those random pictures taken of me ended up. . . .